[TV: Walking up and down by the sloop
I said help yourself, we're glad to get rid of the...]
Yes snacks, we need snacks.
[TV: Finally the Clampett place.
Yeah...] Sam, what are you doing?
Do you need more pretzels right now?
Look at your rug,
could probably run a vacuum over it.
-Pretzels really are my favorite snack.
-It's fine, you'll get to it later.
That's just your mother's voice,
judging you.
It's a little warm in here.
You spent a lot of money on that brain of yours, why don't you use it?
Rest is good, resting is fine.
Resting is love.
Everyone needs to rest.
You've seen this show already.
You used to read books.
Remember when you read books.
And actually learned things.
Why don't you read anymore?
What kind of woman
just lies around all day on the couch
Also you kind of smell bad.
Huh
would now be a good time to masturbate?
Push your negative thoughts away.
[TV: You better sit down for a spell. I haven't time...]
[Music]
[Singing] Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday dear Samantha,
Happy birthday to me.
[blows out candle]
You ate the whole cake. I'm just saying.
[Newscast music]
Welcome to this special presentation
of Epoch of Equity and Prosperity.
Tonight,
we'll take a look at all
that has changed since 2021.
The ratification of a new constitution.
The end of a global pandemic.
The gays are now in charge.
The trial, conviction and
mysterious death
of former President Trump.
And, oh, yeah,
the galaxy far, far away
was just in a young boy's head.
So Star Wars is now over.
[Newscast music]